Will I ride again?

I swung my leg over the Hornet the other day, just at see how it felt. Would I panic? Would I feel okay? Would I like it again?

Sitting on it was fine. I didn't sit on it and think "no way am I riding a motorbike again". So that's positive. So, I tired gently, while stationary and with the engine switched off, turning the bars. Just to see if I could physically steer (pretty critical, I find). Well....I didn't like that. My left arm was toiling to give me the necessary power to move the bars. Now, prior to the crash, I could move the bars while stationary pretty easily, as I had reasonably good upper badly strength. Now, well, there's just no way I could ride the Hornet. It's a real pain give the effort I put in passing my test and I really enjoy riding that bike. Oh well, at least my hubbie can use it and it's not just rusting.

I reckon I may not ride again for several months, if at all. Even then, I think I'd have to go back to a 125, just to re-build my strength and confidence. That will probably be able the same point as the 33bhp restriction on licence exprires. Oh well, could be worse. I'm walking and talking. And, I don't need to ride.

Yesterday I was out for a walk and a red Pan two up passed us. Well, that was it. I really was quiet freaked by that and had a bit of a greit. Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I don't cry. Well, not never, but very rarely and even more rarely in public. It was strange, though. I have seen red Pans since the crash and heard other coloured Pans, but I think it was the whole combination of colour, sound and 2 up that did it for me. Don't you just love the way the brain works. I'd love to know the evolutionary reason for some things that go on up there.

A couple of weeks ago I also had a near miss in the car when a Royal Mail van pulled out in front of me. I managed (according to my hubbie) a really impressive brake, swerve avoid manoeuvre (as he made rude gesticulations at the driver of the van!). When it was safe to pull over I broke down in tears. 5 months ago, I would have ranted, but I think it's all the psychological damage the crash has caused that's coming out. Better out that in, though.

Good news at the moment, though, is as my hubbie is using my bike, he paid the road tax for it. So that's a plus. Always look on the bright side of life.

No riding yet

Well, for me, that is. Although I have been given the clear from the consultant to ride, I really don't feel I can ride my bike. Talk about all dressed-up with no-where to go!

It's mainly a strength thing. Also, only last night, I just moved my left arm slightly and I experienced a strong stabbing pain at the point where my clavicle attaches to my shoulder. It's not just sore, it's M&S sore!!! When I get these stabbing pains, the pain subsides after about 10-15 minutes, but I get a strange numbness in my hand and forearm. After last night's pain, the numbness was still there this morning.

With all of that in mind, that's the primary reason I don't feel I can ride at the moment. I'm more likely on the bike to put my arm in an "unusual" position. If I get a stabbing pain on the bike, it could be very dangerous. I need to use 2 arms riding. I can, for short periods in an emergency, use 1 arm driving. It's also an experience thing. I've been driving for 9 1/2 years, but passed my motorbike test just over a year ago. So, I'm more able to deal with things in the car than on a bike.

It's funny, before I got the stabbing pain last night, my hubbie and I had been talking about getting me a 250 to use. It would be a good compromise between the Hornet and a 125, in terms of weight (a Honda CB250 is about 30kg lighter than the Hornet) and power.

Hopefully I improve in time for getting a little riding later in the summer. I'd like to actually wear the jacket I ordered the week before the crash at some point!