Tuesday 16 June 2009

Good days, bad days

Things are really starting to show improvement, in terms of the shoulders (both mine and my hubbies). This is good, though we know it'll be a long stretch until we're back to normal (what ever that is!).

The thing is, sometimes it's not the physical scars that are worse. Both of us have had our dark days. I know I have analysed the wisdom of us taking the bike that day. My hubbie, in some ways, blames himself. If he didn't ride, I wouldn't have been pillion, I wouldn't have been on the back when the crash happened and been injured.

I know it was neither of our faults. Not mine for not saying "lets take the car" nor his for wanting to ride his bike. It was a silly car driver who didn't look. That said, it can be hard not to blame yourself and over analyse things. All of life is full of "what ifs". What's done is done. No amount of "what ifs" will change what happened. We, and the car driver, have to live with the consequences.

I know my faith has helped me a lot during the last few months. God was with us; holding us and standing with us. I know some people would say "if God is with you, why did he allow the crash to happen?". Well, that doesn't have a straightforward answer, but He gave us (humans) freewill. A freewill that gives us responsibility for our actions. Consciously or not, the car driver chose not to look before pulling out in front of us. It may seem strange, but I truly believe God prevented the crash being worse. If we'd been fraction of a second later the car would have side swiped the bike and we would have been much worse off.

We will heal, the bike will be replaced. Everything else...that's for the courts and lawyers to sort out.

No comments: