Will I ride again?

I swung my leg over the Hornet the other day, just at see how it felt. Would I panic? Would I feel okay? Would I like it again?

Sitting on it was fine. I didn't sit on it and think "no way am I riding a motorbike again". So that's positive. So, I tired gently, while stationary and with the engine switched off, turning the bars. Just to see if I could physically steer (pretty critical, I find). Well....I didn't like that. My left arm was toiling to give me the necessary power to move the bars. Now, prior to the crash, I could move the bars while stationary pretty easily, as I had reasonably good upper badly strength. Now, well, there's just no way I could ride the Hornet. It's a real pain give the effort I put in passing my test and I really enjoy riding that bike. Oh well, at least my hubbie can use it and it's not just rusting.

I reckon I may not ride again for several months, if at all. Even then, I think I'd have to go back to a 125, just to re-build my strength and confidence. That will probably be able the same point as the 33bhp restriction on licence exprires. Oh well, could be worse. I'm walking and talking. And, I don't need to ride.

Yesterday I was out for a walk and a red Pan two up passed us. Well, that was it. I really was quiet freaked by that and had a bit of a greit. Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I don't cry. Well, not never, but very rarely and even more rarely in public. It was strange, though. I have seen red Pans since the crash and heard other coloured Pans, but I think it was the whole combination of colour, sound and 2 up that did it for me. Don't you just love the way the brain works. I'd love to know the evolutionary reason for some things that go on up there.

A couple of weeks ago I also had a near miss in the car when a Royal Mail van pulled out in front of me. I managed (according to my hubbie) a really impressive brake, swerve avoid manoeuvre (as he made rude gesticulations at the driver of the van!). When it was safe to pull over I broke down in tears. 5 months ago, I would have ranted, but I think it's all the psychological damage the crash has caused that's coming out. Better out that in, though.

Good news at the moment, though, is as my hubbie is using my bike, he paid the road tax for it. So that's a plus. Always look on the bright side of life.