Back in the saddle again

The Goldwing was delivered early yesterday morning. That was a laugh to begin with. The driver went past our house twice! My hubbie went outside to wave on his third pass. Yes, we do have a house number.

Anyway, it's not the type of bike for the shy and retiring type, I've discovered. As the delivery driver was lowering the ramp 3 school kids turned to be nosey (I would have). There faces were a picture. Just awestruck, with a hit of wow - that's very cool.

I wanted to head out to see my Mum on it before she left for work. This was the first time I had been a bike since the crash. As I was getting my kit ready and on, I was a little nervous, but really looking forward to it.

It's such a comfie ride, but a very powerful machine. My hubbie had warned me to hold on when he accelerated and I'm glad he did!!!

As we went along the road to my Mum's (she lives about 8 miles away) I took in the sights and sounds. This is a road I travel on frequently in a car. It's so different on a bike. Better visibility, due to being higher. You feel the road in a way you never can in a car. I love it. As we were going along, I thought to myself "I forgot just how much I loved this".

My Mum was well impressed. She was only on the Pan once and loved it. I think she's aiming for a ride on this too!

Everywhere we went there were people admiring the bike. Kids and adults noticing it in a way the Pan (which is a large bike) never was. Where we were parked for lunch, a passerby came had been admiring the bike and came in to ask the staff about it. One of the staff knows us and told the passerby to speak to us, as she knew we wouldn't mind. I think we made his day!

It's looking to be reasonable weather today. I'm busy this morning, but hopefully we can get out for a run in the 'wing this afternoon.

I think there's going to be tales aplenty from the pillion seat of this bike!

The new tourer

It's now been 7 months since the crash. Since he has been able to, my hubbie's been using my hornet. Until now he had neither the strength nor inclination to replace the Pan.

He's always aspired to the Honda Goldwing. I have no problem with that - a pillion seat that's potentially more comfortable than my car seat and a 1.8 litre flat 6 engine...need I say more???!!!

So, this is to be delivered on Friday...

The offer

I had a call from my lawyer yesterday regarding the claim following on from the crash. All I can say is I was really surprised how much it was. It's a lot of money.

A bit of me feels a little odd and guilty about getting money I've not earned by "the sweat of my brow", but as both my nearest and dearest and lawyer have said I am entitled to it due to everything I've been through as a result of the crash. And I will also have a 5" scar and titanium plate for the rest of my life.

Well, the main thing is this is another step towards getting this whole incident out of the way. At least the insurers of the driver have done this and my lawyer isn't now advising me to take the case to court. I really didn't want to go down that road if I could help it.

Now, what to spend it on...?

Claim

Now my lawyer has received my medical report and photos my hubbie has taken of my scar, the claim is now being sent to the insurer's of the driver which pulled out in front of us.

They have been given 5 days - yes, 5 days. I was a bit surprised by that! - to make an offer. If none is forthcoming, court proceedings may be raised. I hope it doesn't come to that. I just want to get this behind me and move on. Until the claim is settled I won't feel I can move on properly.

Annoyed

Today my hubbie phoned the procurator fiscal office to which the police had referred the charges levelled against the driver who pulled out in front of us. The procurator fiscal makes decisions on whether or not to pursue the criminal case and take it to court.

In the case of our crash, the procurator fiscal has decided not to pursue the criminal case! Apparently they believe it can be dealt with through the appropriate civil channels. I.e. us pursuing the insurers of the driver.

So, the driver caused us to be injured to an extent where we required surgery. Both her car and our motorbike were written off and she could have killed us. What does she get? Nothing. There will be no points on her licence nor a fine. My hubbie and I will have a piece of metal and substantial scar for the rest of our lives.

It's not that I think points and a fine would change things nor necessarily amend her behaviour, but at least the authorities would have acknowledged the dangerous nature of her driving. Personally I would have preferred her to have to re-sit her test. That would have modified her driving.

What I find particularly annoying is if someone's done for speeding, they automatically get at least 3 points on their licence and a £60 fine. Now I'm not condoning speeding, but they haven't put anyone in direct danger. Yet, a driver pulls out in front of a motorcyclist, injures both the rider and the pillion and causes thousands of pound worth of damage and nothing happens.

In praise of...the NHS

At the moment there's a lot in the press about the NHS, as President Obama is trying to reform health care in the USA. All I can say is good luck to him. I think what he's trying to do is amazing, but he really has a fight on his hands.

Now I'm proud of the NHS. Yes, it's flawed. It's not prefect, but what system is? My recent experience has been an exemplary example of the treatment the NHS provides. My hubbie and I were attended by 2 ambulances with 4 paramedics arriving within 2 minutes of the crash. One of the ambulances took us to hospital where we were X-rayed, examined and given strong pain killers. All free.

We were operated on and had to stay in hospital for 2 nights. We were well fed, watered and cared for by all staff. From cleaners to consultants. All free.

On discharge from hospital we were given a large selection of pain killers to take home with us. All free.

We had follow-up consultants' appointments and X-rays. All free.

We had physiotherapy sessions. All free.

All of this treatment would have cost us thousands, if not tens of thousands of pounds. We are comfortably off, but there's no way we could have afforded all the treatment.

We may not have been covered by health insurance or the whole cost may not have been covered.

The NHS rocks. Also, like many people in the UK, I have friends and relatives who good quality lives as a result of the treatment the NHS provides. Some may be dead or seriously disabled if not for NHS treatment.

And to any American reading this - The NHS to us Brits is a bit like a close relative that drives you to distraction. They are flawed, but you love them, are proud of them and NO-ONE berates them but you. Brits can moan about the NHS, but leave it alone. Oh, and check your facts. Stephen Hawking would not have been left to die by the NHS. In fact, it is because of the NHS he's alive. And he's British.

The report

My hubbie and I have now received a copy of the second opinion consultant's report. There's no major surprises, though they do read rather similarly. Same injury, near identical prognosis, same hobbies/activities. Yes, we are the same person.

On the back of the report, my hubbie's to see another independent consultant to report to our lawyer about his groin injury. Also, I am to get professional photos of my scar taken, as I stated when I met with the second opinion consultant I mentioned I am self-conscious of my scar.

I don't really want anyone else looking at my scar, especially some random bloke (sorry, hate to sound sexist, but there aren't many female photographers). So, as long as the lawyer is happy with it, I'm going to get my hubbie to take them. After all, he is a trained photographer.

Whether it seems obvious or not to others is irrelevant - I am aware of it and will have to live with it for the rest of my life.

Well, that's all for now.

Second opinion

As part of the legal proceedings resulting from the crash, my hubbie and I saw an independent orthopedic consultant today.

He looked at our X-rays, asked how we were and checked the movement of our shoulders. We also had forms to fill and give to him. Those asked how the "accident" (I don't like calling it that as it implies no blame) had affected us, in terms of work, hobbies, domestic activities and psychologically. We gave very thorough answers and compared notes to ensure neither of us had missed anything.

I mentioned about the strange numbness I get in my left hand and forearm to the consultant. By checking the difference in the sweat of my left and right hand he confirmed I'd sustained nerve damage. Nice. I'll have to learn to live with these sensations, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Now the consultant will submit a report to our solicitor and we wait to see what happens next. Somehow, I think this is going to be a long process.

Will I ride again?

I swung my leg over the Hornet the other day, just at see how it felt. Would I panic? Would I feel okay? Would I like it again?

Sitting on it was fine. I didn't sit on it and think "no way am I riding a motorbike again". So that's positive. So, I tired gently, while stationary and with the engine switched off, turning the bars. Just to see if I could physically steer (pretty critical, I find). Well....I didn't like that. My left arm was toiling to give me the necessary power to move the bars. Now, prior to the crash, I could move the bars while stationary pretty easily, as I had reasonably good upper badly strength. Now, well, there's just no way I could ride the Hornet. It's a real pain give the effort I put in passing my test and I really enjoy riding that bike. Oh well, at least my hubbie can use it and it's not just rusting.

I reckon I may not ride again for several months, if at all. Even then, I think I'd have to go back to a 125, just to re-build my strength and confidence. That will probably be able the same point as the 33bhp restriction on licence exprires. Oh well, could be worse. I'm walking and talking. And, I don't need to ride.

Yesterday I was out for a walk and a red Pan two up passed us. Well, that was it. I really was quiet freaked by that and had a bit of a greit. Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I don't cry. Well, not never, but very rarely and even more rarely in public. It was strange, though. I have seen red Pans since the crash and heard other coloured Pans, but I think it was the whole combination of colour, sound and 2 up that did it for me. Don't you just love the way the brain works. I'd love to know the evolutionary reason for some things that go on up there.

A couple of weeks ago I also had a near miss in the car when a Royal Mail van pulled out in front of me. I managed (according to my hubbie) a really impressive brake, swerve avoid manoeuvre (as he made rude gesticulations at the driver of the van!). When it was safe to pull over I broke down in tears. 5 months ago, I would have ranted, but I think it's all the psychological damage the crash has caused that's coming out. Better out that in, though.

Good news at the moment, though, is as my hubbie is using my bike, he paid the road tax for it. So that's a plus. Always look on the bright side of life.

Good days, bad days

Things are really starting to show improvement, in terms of the shoulders (both mine and my hubbies). This is good, though we know it'll be a long stretch until we're back to normal (what ever that is!).

The thing is, sometimes it's not the physical scars that are worse. Both of us have had our dark days. I know I have analysed the wisdom of us taking the bike that day. My hubbie, in some ways, blames himself. If he didn't ride, I wouldn't have been pillion, I wouldn't have been on the back when the crash happened and been injured.

I know it was neither of our faults. Not mine for not saying "lets take the car" nor his for wanting to ride his bike. It was a silly car driver who didn't look. That said, it can be hard not to blame yourself and over analyse things. All of life is full of "what ifs". What's done is done. No amount of "what ifs" will change what happened. We, and the car driver, have to live with the consequences.

I know my faith has helped me a lot during the last few months. God was with us; holding us and standing with us. I know some people would say "if God is with you, why did he allow the crash to happen?". Well, that doesn't have a straightforward answer, but He gave us (humans) freewill. A freewill that gives us responsibility for our actions. Consciously or not, the car driver chose not to look before pulling out in front of us. It may seem strange, but I truly believe God prevented the crash being worse. If we'd been fraction of a second later the car would have side swiped the bike and we would have been much worse off.

We will heal, the bike will be replaced. Everything else...that's for the courts and lawyers to sort out.

No riding yet

Well, for me, that is. Although I have been given the clear from the consultant to ride, I really don't feel I can ride my bike. Talk about all dressed-up with no-where to go!

It's mainly a strength thing. Also, only last night, I just moved my left arm slightly and I experienced a strong stabbing pain at the point where my clavicle attaches to my shoulder. It's not just sore, it's M&S sore!!! When I get these stabbing pains, the pain subsides after about 10-15 minutes, but I get a strange numbness in my hand and forearm. After last night's pain, the numbness was still there this morning.

With all of that in mind, that's the primary reason I don't feel I can ride at the moment. I'm more likely on the bike to put my arm in an "unusual" position. If I get a stabbing pain on the bike, it could be very dangerous. I need to use 2 arms riding. I can, for short periods in an emergency, use 1 arm driving. It's also an experience thing. I've been driving for 9 1/2 years, but passed my motorbike test just over a year ago. So, I'm more able to deal with things in the car than on a bike.

It's funny, before I got the stabbing pain last night, my hubbie and I had been talking about getting me a 250 to use. It would be a good compromise between the Hornet and a 125, in terms of weight (a Honda CB250 is about 30kg lighter than the Hornet) and power.

Hopefully I improve in time for getting a little riding later in the summer. I'd like to actually wear the jacket I ordered the week before the crash at some point!

Suited and booted

In theory, I can now ride again. The Hornet's MOT'd and the consultant's given the go ahead. I've even replaced the kit that was damaged in the crash - helmet, jacket and trousers. Of course, the cost of those will be claimed against the insurers of the driver of the car that pulled out in front of us.

My hubbie and I don't need new boots or gloves as those weren't damaged at all as a result of the crash. I know of many people who think we should - "get another pair on their insurance" - but, despite it being the driver's fault, that just isn't the way we operate.

I haven't ridden yet. It's not that I don't want to but I lack strength in my left arm and occasionally get tingles and numbness in my left hand, especially if I've overstretched myself or done something I haven't done since the crash. That can be caused by something as simple as spooning rice pudding from a bowl - I kid you not!!! That's why I haven't riden yet. It's starting to look more and more likely I'll be getting another 125 to build up my confidence and strength before I get on a big bike again.

In other news, my hubbie's probably riding down to Carlisle tomorrow, to test ride a Goldwing. The Honda dealer down their is having an open day and there will be a Goldwing available for test. As the Goldwing is such an expensive bike and there's such a small market, no dealer keeps one for test rides. They have open days and Honda supplies the test bikes. Unfortunately, my hubbie's missed all the open days at the Scottish dealers. The only other way to get a test ride is if a dealer has a second hand model in but, again, none in Scotland have any at the moment.

It'll give the Hornet a good run - 120ish miles each way. Given it's only got 2400 miles on the clock (2002 model), it may be the longest run the bikes had. If he does go for the test ride (weather dependant, of course) at least then he'll know for sure that the Goldwing is the bike for him or not, as the case may be. If it is, he'll be more prepared to travel to buy a decent early model 1800. So, watch this space for updates on the search for the Pan replacement...

MOT'd

Following our good news at the consultant's my hubbie took the Hornet for it's MOT. It was only out-of-date by a month. Oops! But, it was off-road and we weren't in a position to ride before the consultant said so.

It passed. There wasn't much surprise there, though. I bought it last year, with 1200 (genuine) miles on the clock. That was an average of 200 per year, as it was 6 years old when I bought it. Between the MOT before I bought it and the MOT the dealer did when I purchased it, it had done 17 (yes, 17!!!) miles. From the second owner's house and back.

Due to the really bad weather last summer and the crash, I hadn't been out on the Hornet as much as I would have liked, but I still doubled the mileage!!!

The thing is, although the Hornet's not a big bike, neither am I. Prior to the crash, it was almost on the limits of what I could ride, given my strength, riding experience and confidence. Now, I know it is too big for me, which is a total pain, as I really enjoy riding it.

At least my hubbie can ride it at the moment, so it's not just an expensive piece of garden furniture. In the meantime, I need to build up my strength and confidence, so I can get back on it. In the meantime, I may have to get another smaller bike. Possibly even a 125 again!

I've always go the car, but on night like tonight...well, I would have been on my bike like a shot normally. Ne'er mind, it'll all be okay in the long run.

The all clear?

My hubbie and I were back at the consultant's today. The X-rays show we're both healing, which is a huge relief. 1 in 10 people with plated clavicle breaks don't heal. I was really worried we'd (or at least one of us) would be the 1 in 10. My hubbie's to o back to see the consultant in 2 months time as his break isn't healing as fast as I am. He had a complex break, with 2 shards of bone as well as the 2 main pieces. The next appointment is just to check all is well. I don't need to see the consultant again. Well, not that one. We see another, independent, one in July for our personal injury claim, but that's "paper work", so to speak.

The consultant seemed a little surprised we hadn't ridden since we'd last seen him, but we did what we were told (not the norm, but these aren't normal circumstances!). Now we're healing, Officially I can now ride a bike. As I say , officially. The Hornet is at the limits of what I can ride in terms of size for my strength and pre-crash ability. Given I get painful twinges in my shoulder when I do something different, I don't want that went riding. Also, I can just get my foot down on the Hornet, which was fine before the crash, but I don't know if I could cope with that at the moment. I might get a smaller bike (a 125 or 250) to build up again. In the meantime, my hubbie is going to ride the Hornet until he gets a replacement for the Pan. He took it for its first run today - for its MOT. It's only a month overdue!!!

Need to get a new lid now. I've replaced everything else, but had been putting off replacing the lid. The other things can go back to the shop if unused, but not the lid. I suppose I was really paranoid I'd never be able to ride again. Now I think I will, but it'll take time until everything is back to normal, whatever normal is...

Back to work (2)

Well, it was fairly painless. My hubbie and I have been given a phased return to work on a part-time basis. This week we're just doing 4 hour days. Perfect to break ourselves in.

It was quite good being back. It'll get us into a better routine. Also, everyone I've spoken to has been really supportive and concerned about how we've been.

Getting back to normal. Well, normal for us!

Back to work

My hubbie and I go back to work tomorrow, after over 9 weeks off. We were planning to return last week, when our sick line expired, but our office won't take us back until we've been signed back.

The first appointment we could get to be signed back was yesterday. It was an appointment for my hubbie (I couldn't get one until today!!!), but I went along as we've got exactly the same thing wrong with us. Thought, as getting signed back is a formality, we could get both our forms at the same time.

Well, the doctor was happy to sign both our forms, but had never heard of any business insisting their employees get signed back. I've since discovered there used to be a back to work form the doctor signed, but that was done away with years ago.

My hubbie then called the person in HR who we've been dealing with. Now, we had been offered part-time return to work. Basically, get paid our full wages, but over up to 8 weeks work part time hours. As we'd been offered that we had to have a caveat on the sick line (that's all it was, it just had a "expiry" date), stating we were suitable for a phased return to work.


So, we headed back to the doctors, apologised profusely to a somewhat surprised doctor, and got an additional note added. I didn't think going back to work after being off sick would be so much hassle.

I've looking forward to going back. I need a bit of routine back, though tomorrow will be hard as we get up for work at 5:30ish!!! Haven't done that for over 9 weeks. We're starting on 4 hour days, so by the time we've checked out e-mail in-boxes, gone through stuff on our desks, caught up with notices on the intranet and had meetings with HR and our respective line managers, it'll be time to come home.

In other news, my hubbie has just found some "interesting" vegetables in the fridge. Mmh, yes I need a routine - my cleaning schedule is all to pot!!!

Frustation

The accident - and I hate calling it that, as it happened due to gross carelessness - has really annoyed me. It's all the things I discover I can't do:

1. Birdwatching. Yeah, it's sad, and not very rock and roll, but I really enjoy birdwatching. Okay, I can do it, but not if I need to use my binoculars. Mmh, that'll be almost all the time. Although I can get them up to my face and they are really modern lightweight ones, I can't hold them to my eyes for any length of time.
2. Motorcycling. That's an obvious and, as I said in my last post, not until at least the middle of May.
3. Driving. Still haven't driven the car since the accident. Although my shoulder's much better and improving by the day, I still get pain when I get dressed and put on a jacket sometimes, so I'm worried I'd hurt myself changing gear and be concentrating on not hurting my shoulder, rather than driving safely. Not good.
4. Cooking. Well, until yesterday. I love cooking. It gives me a lot of pleasure cooking for my hubbie and I and for others. That said, until yesterday, I may have hurt myself while lifting a pan (even with my good side) and been totally put off dinner by the pain.
5. Gardening. I'm not the world's greatest gardener, but I try to keep my garden tidy. I had to get my parents round to cut my grass the other day.
6. DIY. Again, it's said, but I like building stuff. My hubbie and I have done most things in the house. We've friends who are doing a self-build on a former church and, prior to the accident, we would go round to help them out. Unsurprisingly, we won't be doing that for a while. And it's just at the point when our mates could probably really do with the help.
7. Photography. My hubbie and I really enjoy photography. We've a selection of film SLR cameras and a digital SLR, with a selection of lenses. Just over a week ago we were at a friend's wedding. As we enjoy photography and, even if I say so myself, pretty good, we made an album up of the photos my hubbie took. Ususally we'd both be taking photos. On Saturday, my hubbie's sister gets married and he's taking the part of father of the bride. So, I hope I've improved enough to take some photos. I'll be really annoyed if I can't.
8. Climbing. About once-twice a month, prior to the accident, my hubbie and I would take ourselves off to the EICA to do a bit of climbing. We were improving, abet slowly, but we were starting to really get into it. Goodness knows when we'll be able to go climbing again.
9. Camping. My hubbie and I enjoy camping. It's cheap, fun and a great way of seeing this beautiful country. We usually go camping for our main summer holiday. We love the freedom of just throwing the tent, sleeping bags etc in the bck of the car and heading in a general direction. I don't think that's going to happen this year. Some nights I can't get comforatble in my own bed, there's no way I'd manage on a camp mat. Also, we have a 4 man tent and it takes a reaonable amount of effort to erect, especially in a bit of a wind. There's no danger we'd manage it at the moment.
   

The list probably goes on, but you get the picture. Although it should be only short term, it's life limiting. Also, it's frustrating having to ask others to do gardening, lifts etc for me. I know they don't mind, but it's not the point. If the person who pulled out in front of my hubbie had actually looked I would be posting about the runs we'd been on our bikes - it have been pretty good weather for biking of late.

Apparently, we can claim from the other side (the insurers of the woman who caused the accident) for loss of amenity, which includes all of the things I've listed above. I'd imagine there will be potential wrangling over how much our loss of amenity is worth. I really don't care. No amount of money will make up for not being able to do the things I, we, enjoy. Things I need for my sanity and to remind me there is always more to life.

The other thing that's getting to us both is do we replace the Pan? Yes, we want to get back on the horse, but the longer the wait, the harder it'll be. Will either of us manage it? My hubbie's a big guy and even he is planning to ride my hornet for a little while to get used to using his shoulder for biking again. I may have to get a smaller bike (125 or 250) to build-up my confidence and ability again. Argh!!!

Earlier this week, my hubbie was looking at the potential replacement for the Pan. He'd always said when the Pan needed replaced, he'd want to get a Goldwing. From my prospective, it's a comfy looking pillion seat. It's also a 1800 engine flat 6! Apparently my face when I realised that was a picture of delight! That said, even an early model is £4k more than the Pan was worth. It's a lot of money to put to another bike, but hey, life's too short. We discussed the pros and cons of the Goldwing verses the Pan. Then I realised what was really annoying me. It was having to have that conversation at all. Again, if someone had looked at a junction, there would be no reason to replace the Pan and we wouldn't have even been discussing it. Well, not yet anyway!!!

Anyway, that's my rant. I'm sure everything'll be okay in the long run, but at times it doesn't feel like that.

No biking today

Or for another two months. That's what our consultants have told us. Fair enough, especially when they pointed out the screws holding our clavicles together will strip out of the bone if we over do it - nice!

But, it's a little frustrating. I mean, just look at the weather. It's never usually this nice in March. I remember 5 years ago today (it was our wedding day) it absolutely tipped it down. My hubbie and I, before the accident, had been planning heading away for a few days for our anniversary. He'd even suggested, if it was reasonable weather, we'd do a bit of touring on the Pan. Sod's law that it's glorious sunshine eh? Knowing our luck, when we are able to ride, it'll be really heavy rain.

I suspect we'll be so itching to get back in the saddle not much'll hold us back!

Post-op update

My hubbie and I are got home following our operations last Friday. His was performed on Wednesday, with mine on Thursday. I think we both caused issues for the surgical teams as our ops took about double the usual time. As I've said before, we don't do things by halves!!!

We're glad the ops are over - we both saw them as the first step on our road to get our lives back. Now the physical healing process can begin. In just over a weeks time, we have follow-up appointments with our respective consultants and, a couple of days later, the physiotherapy begins.

During our hospital stay, the staff were amazing - if somewhat surprised to have a married couple with the same injury, getting the same operation. It's never happened before. One of the theatre nurses suggested to me we'd need to get matching anoraks now!!! No - that won't be happening.

We've follow-up consultant appointments next week. The physiotherapy starts then too. The pain's subduing, which is good. At least the pieces of collar bone aren't moving any more, though we're both aware of this foreign object inside us, which is a little disconcerting when you're body realises it!

One bonus of this all, and you have to look on the bright side, is people turn up to do our dishes and take our ironing away. My hubbies more enthusiastic about that than I am and he doesn't generally do either!!!

It's sad, but I like housework (not very rock and roll. eh?). But, I don't want anything to get in the way of our recovery. We're not to use our arms or left shoulders at all for at least 2 weeks. Believe me, that's easier said than done.

Someone asked us the other day what we'd rather be doing and both of us said we'd rather be at work. If we were at work, we wouldn't be signed off sick, so the accident would never have happened. That said, we can't change the past, only look to the future and what the replacement to the Pan will be.

No operation today

My husband and I had our operations called off. There were no beds for us. It's a pain (in more ways than one!), but other people's needs were greater than ours. We are walking wounded. The ops have been re-scheduled for next Wednesday.

That's all. The paper work for insurance claims are starting to come in. Again, another pain, but it'll get done in due course. Most of the paperwork will be my husbands, but I'll need to claim the replacement costs of mt kit (helmet, jacket, trousers and, potentially, gloves).

On the other hand, we walked away from a car/bike crash. We've got off lightly and everything will get sorted out in due course.

RIP Pan 1

Yesterday my husband and I visited the police recovery agency to collect our belongings from the Pan and inspect the damage. I think a picture tells a thousand words -



As you can see, the forks are bent, the front fairing is totally knackered, as is the side panels. We also saw the brakes are no longer functioning - believe me, they were on Saturday! - and the head stock (thing that attaches headlight, dash board etc to frame) is bent. Given this damage the frame is almost certainly bent too. The 1300 Pan European has an aluminium frame, and it's nigh on impossible to fix on of those when it's bent.

Bottom line is, we're pretty certain it's an insurance write-off. I've told my husband I do want to get on my bike and behind him, though given our injuries, that won't be for 2 or 3 months anyway. That said, if the insurance company says the Pan is repairable, I wouldn't trust it. I'd always doubt how well the frame etc had been repaired and would not have confidence in it. My husband thinks the same and would dig is heels in with the insurance company, if necessary.Hopefully, it doesn't come to that.

In other news, we are both getting plates surgically inserted to hold our collar bones together. Without them we won't regain full use of our arms (i.e. no raisin our arms above shoulder height - just think how often you do that!). I'm hoping the plate has a high ferrous content so we can stick fridge magnets to our collar bones!!!

All in though, especially now I've seen the damage to the Pan and the car that pulled out in front of us, I firmly believe we were being looked after. We walked away. Our injuries will heal and the bike's replaceable. Everything else is optional.

Please look!

My husband and I were having a really good day yesterday until just before 6 o'clock. We'd been in Glasgow for the Scottish model railway show. Great show -brilliant layouts with amazing levels of detail. Pete Waterman was even there (yes, as in Stock, Aitken and...) doing book signing.

But, at 6pm about a mile from home, a driver pulled out in front of us from a side street without looking. We were on my husband's bike at the time.

My husband had realised the car was going pretty fast approaching the junction, so backed off the throttle. Meanwhile thinking to himself "please look, please look". She didn't. We hit her car square on and the next thing I was on the road in severe pain down my left hand side.

I had to get up. I couldn't see my husband, as I had been thrown in front of him - we think he'd become a launch ramp for me! At that moment all I could think was check my husband was okay (in relative terms) then tear a strip off the driver which pulled out in front of us.

My husband was on the road too; just next to the bike. He had pain in his shoulder, but other than that was pretty much okay, that was it! I was going to rage at the driver.

That was until I looked at her. She looked absolutely terrified; she was scared of what she'd done, especially as my husband wasn't getting up. At that moment, my heart melted a little. I couldn't have anything for the lady except pity. She'd screwed-up big style, but she had so much remorse on her face.

Strangely, all I want to do when I next see her is to let her know I've forgiven her. I did as soon as I looked at her face last night.

We both have broken our left collar bones. I'm fairly sure I've cracked 1 or 2 ribs. I did last year and the pain I'm having breathing now is exactly the same as then. Oh well, these things happen. It could have been so much worse!

The motorbike's almost certainly a write-off, but it's replaceable - we're not. Mostly, though, I pray the lady with whom we collided doesn't feel too cut up.

First time for ages

I was out on my own bike for the first time since November. I took it canny (carefully for non-Scots!), which was just as well given the road I went out on was awash with mud, salt and assorted other grime.

Hopefully this spell of dry not totally freezing weather continues and I can get out more often.

Brrrrr

I've just about de-frosted from today's run. The was scenery beautiful and the roads were especially quiet (mh..I wonder why?). But, good grief, it was cold. The maximum the Pan's thermometer read was +2C. Given it generally reads about 2C above the actual air temperature and there was the wind chill factor...well, enough said.

There were another 10 bikes we saw, though I was the only pillion. Probably as all the other wives told their OH's to have a good time. I'm still glad I went out. It makes me appreciate central heating!!!